presentsense

No TV update (or "Times change, but humans, not so much")

So, you may know that Steph and I yanked broadcast TV out of the house a month or so ago. Lots of people have asked how it's going, and in response I will say that we haven't missed much. The Michael Jackson thing. Anything related to sports. Anything related to politics. But all in all, the news we WANTED to get, we haven't had much trouble finding online, and as quickly as we wanted to. I'll save all the pros and cons (believe me, there have been way more pros to this point), but I wanted to share something interesting I have found out about people. This is as a result of only having old TV to watch.

We as humans have not changed very much.

We're watching TV shows like The Dick Van Dyke show, Leave it to Beaver, and movies like The Music Man and The Great Escape. Classic shows, and lots of documentaries (Steph would say too many documentaries). 

Guess what: Kids used to hide the truth from their parents when they thought the truth might get them in trouble. Wives used to worry about what their husbands thought of their figures. Husbands used to get stressed out at work and come home grumpy. People used to spend money to fight their fears. Injustices used to be done, and injustices used to be overcome.

Sure, we may be able to say and show things on TV now that we couldn't then (think Rob and Laura sleeping in twin beds), but then again, Dick Van Dyke can't advertise his favorite brand of cigarette anymore, so things haven't completely gone down hill. I don't know, I guess it just comforts me a little to know that The Beaver was way stupider and way more devious than my kids are.

Oh, and to all you ladies who strive for the "perfect" home that June was able to keep, we uncovered a little secret. She had a housekeeper (go find season 1 episode 2).

Toofaches update

Today, hopefully, is the beginning of the end of affair with the oral surgeon. I took Steph in today to have two teeth extracted (numbers 15 and 16, if that means anything to you - screw HIPAA). The procedure was very quick, though time will tell how painless it will be. We were actually in the waiting room together longer than she was in back getting worked on. They brought me back after they had put her in the recovery room, and we had a comical conversation. I overheard some of the office staff talking about how chatty she was. Whet I got there, however, she was just off in la-la land somewhere, very seriously pontificating on the benefits of nitrous oxide. She must have asked me 6 times how we could get our hands on some laughing gas. Normally (not drugged) she would probably only ask me 4 times before the answer registers (if you know Steph, you know what I mean).

She did not vomit on the way home, and as far as I know, we did not cause any accidents. I insisted when we first got in the car that I would take her straight home and get her into bed, then go out and get lunch (she was starving) and get her new meds.  10 minutes into the drive, the lightbulb went off in her head, and she said, "Oh, now I know why you want to take me straight home - so I don't throw up." Bingo, tell the lady what she's won.

So I got her home, fed her some pudding and pills, and then went out and got her the cheezburgr she craved. She can haz cheezburgr. We watched some TV before she fell asleep, and she has been in bed ever since, waking up occasionally to pop more pills or swap out gauze. 

Well the kids are home now and pretty attention starved at the moment. Time to think about what's for dinner. I want pizza. Better think of a way to make that happen.

toofaches

It's been an interesting couple of days here on the ranch. Stephanie developed a tooth ache a few days ago that got progressively worse. She was alternating advil and tylenol every two hours but nothing was really working. She got in to see a dentist yesterday who didn't do much to help. They took x-rays and rooted around in the tooth enough to find out that she has infection and decay underneath an already root-canaled and crowned tooth. (#15 - molar - if you are playing along at home). I wasn't there, but Steph made it sound like the dentist actually pulled the crown back, looked, and then put it back on (not sure if that's possible). The dentist clearly was not sure of the diagnosis, so she gave Steph a script for penicillin and vikes and sent her to an endodintist. Next Wednesday (not gonna work).

Vikes don't really work for Steph, so she literally writhed in pain all night last night. This morning, I called the dentist to tell them we need a new plan. We want the tooth out, not fixed. Evidently, the dentist doesn't pull molars, so we now have an appointment at an oral surgeon at 2:15 today. I will be going with her to make sure the doctor gets the job done. Stay tuned.

Please come tell me if you suffer from eye floaters

Read these two articles and let me know if this is something you experience:

http://www.eye-floaters.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floater

I have had these as long as I can remember, but I can't say that I ever remember talking to anyone about it, including doctors or optometrists.  I figured it happened to everybody. Now I am not so sure. I put this post up as a bit of a social experiment. If you don't have this condition, you will totally think these websites are a joke, but if not, you will totally get what they are talking about.  Comment here and let me know how crazy or alone I am...

Freaking dogs, and the freaking things they freaking do!

So, knew this day would come, just not this soon. I am going to have to tell Vickie that she is adopted. That dog led me on a 90 minute chase around a shopping center last night beginning about 8:30 PM, and ending sometime after 10. I wanted to shoot over to Blockbuster, and she hopped in the car to go with me, and I thought, "no big deal, she likes to go on short rides" (that was my first mistake). As I was pulling out of the driveway, I realized I did not have my phone, but I thought, "no big deal, I'll be back in 15 minutes." (second critical lapse in judgment).

An hour and a half later, I come screaming home to find my totally freaked out wife standing on the front step, about to get in the car herself and drive toward Blockbuster, herself knowing that she would find my van flipped over in a ditch somewhere along the way, and me muttering something about angels and white lights while my car fills with murky wet death.

These are the moments that take years off our lives, you know?

So anyway, Vickie is adopted. No one knows who her father is, and her mom gave all of her brothers and sisters up at birth. We found her at a doggie-orphanage, and we only picked her because we liked the looks of her fur markings. Feel free to pass the word along. I couldn't care less if it hurts her feelings.

Lessons learned:

• Never let the dog get in the car, if you intend to open your door at your destination.
• Never leave your phone at home, no matter how short you expect the trip to be.
• Don't chase a dog that's running away from you. That makes them run farther and faster.
• Don't own a dog that runs faster than you.
• Carry some yummy treats in the glove compartment at all times, or a tranquilizer gun.
• When someone asks, "Is that your dog?" say, "No, it was here when I pulled up. I am just trying to get it in the car for its own safety and the well-being of my fellow citizens."
• Don't try to walk into Blockbuster in hopes that the dog will follow you and you can grab her collar, especially if there is a two year old girl just inside the doors of said Blockbuster.
• People will tell you they are "dog-people' until you need help with your dog.
• A dog wagging its tail at a time like this is proof of just how stupid it is. My tail was clearly not wagging.
• Dumpster corrals behind abandoned fast food restaurants are not a good place to corner a loose dog.  They know what you are trying to do.
• Dogs don't like gumballs, no matter how noisily you shake the bag.
• No one cares if your cat, hamster, or turtle is running around a parking lot at 10 o'clock. I am getting the kids a turtle.
• When you stop chasing a dog and feign disinterest, she will jump into the car, put her head in your lap and start licking your hand. This is NOT the time to return affection. This is the time to start a week-long silent-treatment and online character assassination crusade against the dog, after you tell her what a stupid bitch (look it up) she is.

Resolution 2009

Last year, I believe I made two resolutions and posted them here on this blog:

Listening to my iTunes Library all the way through

Not buying anything "brand new"

OK, so on the latter, we did pretty well. I don't have any numbers to crunch on it, and we did lapse a bit at Christmas once again, but throughout the rest of the year we pretty much stayed on target. I can't think of one CD or Book that I actually bought for myself brand new. I did acquire quite a bit of downloaded music and used CDs. But most everything - including this snazzy iMac on which I type - was bought used or refurbished.

So on the former, I did not succeed, but I did not fail. I started the year with some 9,000 or so tracks to listen to, but then I changed computers, and in the process of that, the play counts on every track in my library were wiped out, which left me with 14,000 tracks, all with zero play count. So I started over, and got that number down to around 5,000 by 12/31. Technically, that means I did listen to at least 9,000 tracks, just not the list I had originally identified. So by special dispensation (by me to me), I have carried that goal over to 2009.

As for a new goal - here goes:

I would like to discipline myself to write one new song each month of 2009. That's it.

Falling into Autumn

I don't know about you, but I think this is my favorite day of the year. You know, the day the summer weather "breaks" its sweaty grip. I am among the 20% of humans that enjoys change for change's sake. I'll say the same thing in February when winter gives way to spring around here.

What lunch time looks like

So, this is what lunch time looks like today. On the far left, is my phone, which is dialed into a 20+ person conference call. On the far left monitor is some spreadsheet being run on that call. The middle monitor is a test bed system that I am helping run scenarios on (also relative to the conference call). The screen on the right is my iMac, where I am concurrently chatting with my wife (upstairs on G-chat), and my brother (in Florida on iChat). Black keyboard and mouse for the left two monitors, whites for the right (well, the white mouse didn't fit my frame, sue me).

Two coffee cups should be fairly self explanatory.

What I am hearing is a mix of Texan, Indian, and Midwestern voices. When I say I am busy, I'm not just whistling dixie. I am thankful to God that I am not ADD.

The last two weekends

So, this is what I have to show for the last two weekends. What do you think?

Advice from Uncle Eli

This is hard stuff, and may be impossible to learn without going through, but in case I can pass anything along, I want to share my heart with you today, because my heart hurts. And a hurting heart is can be a really good teacher.

When it comes to divorce, even the "winners" feel like losers a lot of the time, and victories feel like losses. It would be more appropriate to say that the "winner" simply lost less.

When kids are involved, there is no such thing as a painless divorce. My advice: if you aren't 100% sure you are with the person you will die with, don't have kids for any reason - especially to supposedly shore up an already troubled marriage. Don't rationalize it in any way! I am dead serious. Divorce sucks, but a divorce with children is pain, stress, and heartache like you cannot imagine.